Tuesday, July 10, 2012

There are no letters F, U, or N in the phrase "Weight Loss"

I have to admit, I am having a bitter critter moment. Bear with me for just a second and I will try to elaborate without using the eff bomb too much.

Twenty five pounds is quite a success for me, in fact I am quite proud of it. However, as soon as I got that 25 pound charm during my meeting, my brain turned off and my stomach growled. I spent the better part of 3 weeks fighting urges and cravings until this week when I succumbed.

And boy, did I succumb!!!

In just a matter of days I went from moderate self control to brownies, chicken strips, french fries, Pop Tarts, and bacon wrapped hot dogs. Yah, I put an s at the end of the last one because I did not stop after just one.

Bite me.

So what happened? I am not entirely sure. Part of it is because I am a girl, and every 4 weeks I go stark raving mad and eat like a 500 pound man for a few days. But that is only a small part of what I really think happened.

I think I got rebellious. I think I forgot how good it felt to be getting healthy again. I think I wanted instant gratification. I think I gave myself permission to not only fall off the wagon, but to tip the whole damn wagon over, pour lighter fluid on it, and light that bitch up like a bonfire.

I started looking at some of my favorite healthy meals and snacks with such disdain that it was sort of freaking me out. I may have told a banana that I hated it, I cannot be sure. It is all sort of a carbohydrate haze really. I am not sure I was in my right mind.

The good news is that it was a small uptick on the scale thanks largely in part to the fact that my amazing boyfriend has started joining me for bike rides and gym trips. The bad news is that I physically feel ill because of it. Every single bad thing I like, I managed to cram into a 96 hour eating frenzy. It was disgusting. I ate like a teenage boy for a few days, and now my 28 year old female body is pissed. Karma is a beezy.

So there you have it. People talk about trigger foods a lot of times, and I do not know if I have one. I will tell you that I have about a dozen foods that flew quickly into my mouth recently, and I can also tell you that they need to go away for a while.

If you are wondering, I have started my swim training. I am not really pushing myself as of yet, but I have a fairly decent lap pace that makes me confident that the swim portion of the triathalon will not be my weakest event. I am running right about a 1:10 lap for 0.5 miles. That means for about 18 laps, it takes me less than 25 minutes. I also goof around at the ends of the pool, fiddle with my goggles, and check my timer and heart rate. I am so odd.

I have not run in 2 weeks. I do not have an excuse. I worked really hard to bring my pace down to  a 12 minute mile and boosted my distance to 1.5 miles, then I stopped. I am so odd.

I have been biking short distances with a couple of hills lately, and I throw in a couple sprints or tabata drills everynow and then. Except for Sunday morning, when I skipped breakfast before our ride and ended up doubled over on the side of the trail, nearly throwing up. I made my boyfriend ride back in front of me the whole way so that on the off chance I did end up puking, it would not ruin his day too if you know what I mean. I am so odd.

So I leave you with something one of my twitter friends brought up, and it was that everyn should have a saying or a mantra for their journeys. Mine is this,

I would rather be healthy than skinny.

1 comment:

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