well hello again!

Two months.  8 weeks.  56 days.  

That's how long it's been since I felt like blogging.  

That's how long it's been since I let myself slide off track.  

That's how long it's taken me to gain 4.8 pounds.  

That's how long it's been since I think I gave a damn.  

Well I'm giving a damn again.  

Not because of the new year's resolutions, because those things are junk and I know it.  

Not because the holidays are over, although I did manage to give myself free reign and it got ugly.  

Not because of anything anyone else said to me.  

I'm giving a damn again because I need to.  

I need to because I miss the way it felt to be getting in better shape.  

I need to because I miss the way people smiled at me when they hadn't seen me for a few months.  

I need to because I miss the way that old clothes became new again.  

I need to because I have invested quite a bit of money in a new bicycle, loads of new workout clothing, and some home exercise gear throughout 2012 and I cannot let that go to waste.  

I need to because I don't feel right without taking care of myself.  

I need to because I need to be in control of something, even if some days I can only control the amount of water I drink or that I ate fruit with every bite of a guilt laden snack option.  

I cannot wait for January 1st to come back and begin taking care of myself.  I especially cannot wait until my meetings resume on January 8th to start acting like a Weight Watcher again.  I cannot delay signing up for my beloved spin classes until after the supposed "New Year's Resolution" rush dies down.  

So I've made a few small changes, but I hope they have a large impact.  Here's where I'm starting:

1.  I logged in to the Weight Watchers main site and I changed my weigh in day to Friday.  

This was completely personal, and I'm not saying everyone has to do it.  I only did it because for the past 14 months I've had my weigh in day on Tuesday which means that I would fall into the following bad habit: I would track on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday but on Friday and Saturday I would consume so much junk that I'd give up tracking on Sunday and Monday and just tell myself I'd start over on the following Tuesday.  This did not work well.  Let me rephrase that, this did not work at all.  

2.  I updated my Weight Watchers application on my phone.  

If you haven't done this yet, go do it.  Don't pass go, don't collect two hundred dollars.  Go update your app.  Now.  There are so many more features now on the program and I want to take advantage of every single one of them.  I want you to take advantage of it too!  The points program hasn't changed and neither have the good health guidelines, but the good people of WW have added a ton of new mental diversions and though process changing tools that I am really optimistic about.  I want to see if they work, because I know the points plus already does and anything on top of that is simply a bonus!  

3.  I logged on to my favorite spin studio's website and I signed up for 5 classes in the next three weeks.  

Back to the good old days.  I was cycling outdoors quite a bit over the summer and into the fall, but when the clocks changed and the weather got cooler I found excuse after excuse not to exercise outdoors anymore.  I've removed my excuse for the next three weeks because my beloved Pedal Spin studio is climate controlled and the rain doesn't change the ride at all.  After I signed up for the classes, I put them all on my calendar so I wouldn't have an excuse to forget...again.  

4.  I made sure that all of my exercise clothes are ready to go at a moment's notice in an easily accessible drawer.  

It sounds stupid, but because I'm putting my house back together after an unexpected and lengthy remodel (which I'll explain later, with pictures!) I had clothes all over my bedroom and in piles of disarray.  Just getting all of the necessary items in one place is going to help me, even just a teeny tiny bit.  Another small part of this equation is going to be getting the residual junk food out of my house, but I'm not going to try to tackle that all at once.  I find that getting rid of all the junk food makes me feel deprived, then I just rebel and eat like crap anyway.  It defeats the purpose.  

5.  Last, but not least, I'm back to my good old grocery shopping list.  

For a long time I had a routine of what foods I would buy and the good thing was that I got really comfortable with knowing the points plus values of my usual goodies.  The last couple of months have been a disaster of me grabbing whatever I could find at my local Target and eating junk food and fast food like it was the end of the world.  By adding my old grocery list to the knowledge that my beloved Trader Joe's has partnered with Weight Watchers to add over 1,000 of their food items into the Weight Watchers points plus database and I feel like I'm setting myself up for some baby steps back to success.  

So there you go, I'm going to coming around again.  I appreciate the "are you alive" emails, text messages, and tweets.  In fact, if you're not connected to me online somehow then I really hope you'll take a second to do so.  The easiest way is on Twitter, since I try to keep the health related stuff there.  I'm not shy though, feel free to get in touch with me in other ways such as Facebook.  I can always use another friendly person that is willing to share some accountability and support, and I hope I can provide the same to all you lovely people as well!  

tri update: a multitude of emotions

I think a picture is worth a thousand words, so I've compiled some photos to explain what was going through my mind during the triathalon.  The biggest chunks are (of course) missing because I didn't take a camera with me as I travelled, I only have the photos of my dad and other friends and family members to rely on.  But the location was gorgeous and I really wish I had a camera with me to show you some of the parts only viewed by those of us on the course. 

I didn't see this sign until after I had finished the course, but this is the body of water that we swam in.  Lake Cahuilla.  No swimming.  Except for the cool, spandex-wearing, bicycle-riding kids like us.  I feel special.  

Pre-swim.  Orange cap.  Unflattering clothing.  Big freaking smile on my face.  I was a doofus.  A pretty nervous doofus.  

By the way, the people behind me aren't strangers, they're my best friend and her husband.  My dad likes candid and awkward shots, what can I say?  

In the water (note the attractive "swim angel" in front of us) ready to begin and I believe this part of our conversation went something like this:

Me: "Well, we've done some pretty crazy shit together, haven't we?"

Amanda: "Yah, but I think this is by far the craziest."  

Me: "Definitely."

Transition #1.  All I was thinking was (1) how do I get this lake water out of my nose and mouth while my family is watching me and (2) I SURVIVED THE SWIM!!!

This may look like I'm smiling, but I think it's an optical illusion.  I was pretty nervous to get started on the bike ride.  This is where my fears started to kick in.  

What if I get a flat tire?  

What if I fall of my bike?  

What if I don't finish?

Fast forward to the part that I finish the 14 mile bike ride.  Here I was coming back into the park area.  

At this point, it was a down hill slope and I was so grateful for that.  You basically get to coast all the way into the bike area once you climb the hill back into the parking area.  

Run.  

What was I thinking here?  Hell.  That's what.  

It was unbelievably hot at this point.  Hot like hell.  My first mile was in an area like what you see above, then it became a flat run around the lake for another mile with no shade.  Not a single inch.  Sun blazing.  Tired.  Probably the worst run I've ever had.  

My best friend finished ahead of me by about 20 minutes.  When she saw me round the corner, I thought she was walking to her car or coming over to wave at me.  

Instead she ran with me all the way up to the finish line entrance.  Yah.  It was awesome.  I have great friends.  

Here I go...

"Am I there yet?"

Obligatory action shot...

Here's the lovely aftermath: Me shoving a banana in my mouth while explaining to my boyfriend how hot it was on the run.  

Right to left: Amanda's brother, my lovely aunt hugging me (excuse my mouth full of food and sweaty clothes), and my boyfriend contemplating all of life's deepest mysteries.  

Just kidding, I think he was hungry.  Or hot.  Or both, which means he's unhappy.  

Yay!  

My mommy got teary eyed, so I had to go give her a peck on the cheek.  

We're odd like that.  

So there you have it, my belated and picture filled wrap up!  



tri update: how i did part 1

I'm back from La Quinta and I'm alive!  Yah, that was a goal of mine.  To survive my first triathalon. 

Mission accomplished. 

This blog has been a long time coming in my mind so I've decided to split it into two segments: physical and emotional.  So now I get to tell you how I did, more specifically how I did physically. 

Let me start by saying that I attended a pre-triathalon meeting with Sally Edwards on Saturday before the big event and I heard women saying things like "It took me three hours to finish my first triathalon last year" and "I walked the entire 5K." 

I knew then that I had to re-adjust my goals, not that I'd really set any goals at that point.  So I started thinking about how I'd been performing and what I should possibly expect from myself: 

I know that lately I had finished 500 meters in a swimming pool in less than 20 minutes.  I decided to be nice to myself, and I gave myself a goal of finishing the swim portion of the event in less than 30 minutes. 

I also know that my cycling at a steady pace with no big inclines has been about 14 miles per hour, but when hills and such are factored in I can drop down to as low as about 10 miles per hour depending on the size of the hill.  I had to complete a total of 14 miles in the race, and there were a few hills that lead out of and back into the race venue, so I gave myself a goal of finishing the cycling portion of the even in less than 90 minutes. 

Finally, I know that lately I've been in the 13 or 14 minutes per mile range when I've been out running.  But I have been running early in the morning when there is no heat and I've only been running about 2.5 miles each time.  Also, I don't always run right after a bike ride.  Sometimes I just run, ya know?  With all that into account, I gave myself a goal of finishing the running portion of the event in less than 45 minutes. 

That puts my grand total for the event at 2 hours and 45 minutes.  That was my goal and I was sticking to it! I had my Polar heart rate monitor as my timer and I was ready to go.   

So here's how things really went down:

I was in the very last group of the day, (orange cap) the mixed ages group.  I had a helluva time putting my swim caps on, since I put my TYR silver swim cap on first, then my goggles, then my race issued orange cap on second.  I fidgeted, I got in the (really warm) water for a bit, and then I stood around looking at all of my friends and family that had come to support me.  NERVES!!!

I went down into the water, I was given a mantra for my race by Sally Edwards which was "WICKED GOOD" for all of my Massachussetts friends!  And then before you know it, we were OFF!!!  I did a beautiful stroke all the way out to the first turn which was about 100 meters and I made the left hand turn. 

From there, something in my mind turned off and my stroke turned choppy and irratic, then I saw my best friend's eyes get big and she flipped over onto her back and did the back stroke.  My head turned to mush and I started alternating between the breast stroke, freestyle, and a back stroke.  About the time I reached the 400 meter marker, I had decided that I had been in the water for what seemed like an eternity and I should have not set a goal of 30 minutes for myself.  It was only the first event and I had seemingly failed myself in my head.   

Then I looked down at my watch and I realized that I had only been in the water for 12 minutes and I needed to shut the eff up!  My mind was playing really mean tricks on me.  I got out of the water (but not before tripping on a huge rock) and trailed my best friend up to the first transition. 

Funny story to insert here. I had swallowed and snorted quite a bit of lake water, so as I tried to make it up to my bike I was coughing and blowing my nose a lot and saying sarcastic things like "Gee, that lake water was delicious!"   Little did I realize that my father, friend's husband, and a professional photographer were all snapping away during this portion of the race.  I can't wait to see the photo of the buckets of snot I was expelling! 

I got up to my towel, pulled my socks on (note to self: wash rocks and dirt off feet first next time) and geared up and we were out of the transition and headed into the cycling portion in less than 20 minutes! 

Booyah transition 1!

Cycling out of the park was really odd because my calves and toes started to cramp during the swim, but as soon as I hit the bike I was able to use the pedals to stretch out my legs and scoot right out of the parking lot.  I climbed a few hills, hit the flat road and settled in to the get my heart rate down a bit.  That's when I noticed that my trip computer on my bike had disconnected and I had no way to monitor my speed or distance. 

Super...

The rest of the ride passed smoothly, a bit too smoothly actually.  I found myself looking around at the amazing desert scenery and often forgetting that I was doing a race!  I really wish I had a camera with me and was coordinated enought to take a photo while riding.  I had to clue myself in every once in a while so that I'd speed up a bit more, but even though I was passed by a few riders, I passed more than my fair share.  Each time I passed I started out by saying "ON THE LEFT" and as I rode by I'd follow up with something like "Great job" because honestly, everyone who was doing this race was great in my book. 

Then I noticed around mile 9 or so that quite a few of the riders that had passed me were the very same riders that I was now passing and I congratulated myself for maintaining such a consistent speed.  That was something I had struggled with in the past, and I was glad I had control over it now.  I had conserved my energy well and was about to head into the park again. 

I had to climb one ugly monster of a hill to enter back into transition number 2, and as I started climbing it I saw my best friend's husband standing at the top of the hill with his camera and cheering me on.  Boy, did I need that.  My legs burned as I huffed and puffed my way up that hill, and as I passed him I said something like "I guess it's a good thing I didn't get off and walk my bike up the hill, right?"  He later told me that about 20% of the riders had walked that hill.  I was glad I didn't. 

As I came around the the bike rack I passed my family and smiled because I was going down hill and it was easy to smile.  Thank heavens they didn't see me at the hill I just climbed.  Those photos are probably hideously ugly. 

Transition 2 was easy.  Bike up.  Dump water in mouth.  Helmet off.  Dumpe water in mouth.  Visor on.  Dump water on head.  Eat 2 energy blocks.  Dump water in mouth.  Leave the transition. 

Take that tranistion 2! 

That's when I passed my best friend's family, and her brother ran along and took photos of me with his iPhone leaving the gate so I knew I had to run for the photo op!  I rounded the corner and my energy left me like air out of a balloon and I had to walk for a bit.  I did a steady walk-run for the first mile and counted the minutes on my watch when I saw the marker: 1:33 to 1:47.  14 minute mile.  Bleh.  Then I sped up for the second mile marker and I saw the greatest thing: 2:00!  A 13 minute mile.  Great! 

The last mile felt like it took forever, but it was really about a 16 minute mile and I rounded the corner to the finish line.  As I approached my best friend, who had already finished, she met me at the sand and ran the last few hundred yards as I entered the last stretch with me and I started to get tears in my eyes. 

I.  Was.  Done. 

I.  Was.  A.  Triathalete. 

I.  Was.  Wicked.  Good. 

So that's my story about how I finished a sprint triathalon in 2 hours and 17 minutes.  That's nearly 30 minutes ahead of my goal and it leaves plenty of room for improvement! 

holy crap, i've lost my mind

Do you know about Fit Bottomed Girls?  Well consider yourself enlightened. I follow these ladies on their blog and on twitter and I am always amazed about the span of topics they cover! Food and recipes. Workouts and goals. Challenges mentally and physically. They cover it all.

A few weeks back, I saw a post they had shared about a giveaway they were doing. I love giveaways, and although I enter them all the time for free stuff on blogs, I have never won a single one. I have tried for blenders, books, juicers, cookbooks, free trips, and cameras. Alas, I was not ever chosen. Until a few weeks ago.

I entered for a chance to win the entrance fee into the Danskin triathalon of my choice. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I typed in all my info and hit the button. I never win this stuff, so I was safe. Later that day, I stopped off to see my best friend and mentioned I had briefly contemplated doing a triathalon, but since I was not at my goal weight yet, I was not going to do it. She gave me a puzzled look, then we went on to babble about how much quicker we could lose weight if wine were not so damn tasty. Yes, folks. This is our deep, enriching conversation topic.

Well a few days later I found out I had one the giveaway. I had 24 hours to respond or they would give it to someone else. I ran through every excuse I possibly could. I am still 25 pounds away from goal. I hate running. I have not swam competitively in years. I really only spin, and I only take my bike out once a week or so. It was decided, I would skip the tri. I sent my best friend a joking message about how I had won the giveaway. Her response? "It is a sign."

She is not the type of person to say things like that so when I pressed her and started throwing my excuses at her, she shocked me with her clarity. "Think of it this way," she said, "they just gave you free motivation for the next 4 months."

Hello, epiphany!

So here is my official announcement. I am training for something I never imagined or strived to complete, a sprint triathalon. It is a. 5 mile swim, a 12 mile bike ride, and a 3 mile run. My goal is not to finish fast, but to simply finish. The event is sponsored by Danskin and will take place on October 7th in Palm Springs.

Thoughts and feelings are pouring like water through me, and I will try my best to share them as I train, but for now I will say this:

I am scared in a healthy amount, excited in an intoxicating amount, and overwhelmed by the words and actions of the people that I have told already. It is already proving to be a life changing event for me, and I am looking forward to the challenges as well as the success I  can see lying ahead of me.

And as a sneak peak, I will tell you now that the amazingly talented and gorgeous friend I mentioned was motivating me has also decided to join me in training and completing the triathalon. I am overjoyed!

We will let you know how it goes!