looking backwards, moving forwards

I feel like people are always telling me not to dwell on the past or that I need to move on & move up. Yaddah yaddah yaddah...

Sometimes, I think they're full of it. If you don't examine your past actions or behaviors then I truly believe you are doomed to repeat all of your previous failures. I know that this is true of my life, so I want to take a moment to reflect.

In July I hit my 25 pound goal, and it felt great. Not long after that I threw my Weight Watchers tracking out the window because I had something new to focus on: a sprint triathalon. I can honestly say this was one of those wacky things in life that I'll never forget. Training, traveling, triathaloning...it was epic. Yes, I said epic. I had so much fun & support from friends far & wide that it was spectacular.

Now here comes the reflection: I spent three months training for the triathalon & ignoring what I was eating. After that event, I spent the last 3 months in the middle of a home renovation from hell & ignoring my eating & my training. I slacked off. Luckily, I have less than 5 pounds of slacking to account for. I realize it could have been a whole lot worse, but I feel as if the last 6 months were a waste of my time.

Now I've mentioned that I'm not one for New Year's resolutions, so I've started this little journey back to healthy a bit early. I realize though, as I sit on my couch eating the Pioneer Woman's Mac & cheese, that as the last 6 months haven't been successful, they haven't been a total loss. I've learned a few things about myself & I believe I have some people to thank:

1. Weight Watchers has truly given me the tools to continue being healthy, even when I'm not 100% focused.

Truly, I don't keep all the bad stuff in my home anymore thanks to what I've learned and that (if nothing else) saved me from completely losing my marbles.  

2. Eating out is not convenient, healthy, or efficient. 

Having my home in pieces for 3 months showed me that when I'm cooking at home I'm able to multi task & cook several things at once, do laundry, & meal plan for the week ahead of me. 

3. Exercise is not a luxury, it is a necessity in my life. 

I used to think that finding that time was a bonus or a treat, now I see how poorly I feel without it. I'm irritable, tense, & lethargic without some sort of outlet. I cannot live that way for long. The last three months appear to have only reinforced that in my mind. 

4. Loved ones that know you're on a journey towards a healthier lifestyle are priceless. Priceless. Priceless. 

I had to say that word multiple times because it is just so true. Twitter family, they're there when I'm stumped, lost, or feeling alone. Tangible family is there at family gatherings to give me the much needed "are you sure you want to eat that?" look. Friends that may as well be called family are always around to split appetizers at restaurants or join me for running, cycling, & spin classes when I need their support. Not a day goes by when one of you lovely people blessed my life & don't think I didn't notice it!

So there you have it. I'm sure I've learned more than what I just told you while I've been reflecting, but those were the big things. May you have a blessed new year & I hope you have plenty of amazing reflections during this time as well!

tri update: regrets part 1

I have to get some regrets off my chest, apologize, and move on right now.  I've got to do this so I can let go, get up again, and scurry on my merry way. 

First of all, I regret that my last blog post was 2 months ago.  I've not felt like talking much about training, I just felt like doing it and feeling it.  I've not felt like talking much about Weight Watchers, I've been falling off and fall back onto plan for a while and subsequently I weight exactly the same as I did 8 weeks ago.  I'm still down a total of 25 pounds, but that's not saying much.  I've not felt like talking much about my personal life, but I think it's time to open up a bit about it.  Apology made, now let's talk. 

Triathalong training has flown by.  Literally.  It just went WHOOSHHHHHH!  Then, it was gone. 

I can start by saying my brick experiences have been such a hard thing for me to accomplish, and they are far more rewarding than I could have ever imagined.  If you don't know, a brick workout is any workout where you combine two or more disciplines, such as a bike ride and a run or a swim and a bike ride. I did about 8 bricks over the course of 8 weeks, even doing two in one weekend!  Of those 8 brick workouts, 3 of them were done with my amazing friend, Amanda. 

Let me pause here and say I have amazing friends and family, Amanda being one of them.  Each of my friends and family has supported me through all of this, asking me how I was doing or simply taking a moment to say (or send me a text message) how proud of me they are.  Words and tears simply cannot explain how amazing this makes me feel, and I have to pause and say thank you to all of you. 

So back to bricks, we rode several times between 10 and 12 miles and then followed up with runs that were usually between 2 and 3 miles.  I.  Was.  Exhausted.  Thank the good Lord above that Amanda is a pretty awesome runner and an even better teacher and running coach.  She taught me to relax my shoulders, find good music, set attainable goals, and stop balling up my fists.  Those teeny tiny lessons have expanded running from something that I loathed into something that I tolerated, and more recently even something that I enjoyed completing. 

There, I said it.  I enjoy finishing a run.  I don't consider myself a runner in any sense of the word, but finishing up 2.5 miles during a sunrise with P!NK blasting in my ear buds has become a bit cathartic for me, and it's helped ease my anxiety a whole helluva lot lately. 

That being said, I regret not doing more brick workouts. 

I also have one more moment I regret.  About 8 weeks ago, I went down to ride with Amanda near Tom's Farm in Corona.  It was my first time riding there, and she warned me about a couple of hills.  I think I let myself get caught up in the warning and on the second to the last hill, I gave up, hopped off my bike and walked it.  Two words come to my mind as I type this: chicken and sh*t.  I regret hopping off my bike.  To this day I'm mad about it, but luckily I was mad enough that two weeks later I sent her a text message that said "I want a re-match with that hill." 

Needless to say, I did not walk my bike up the hill.  I huffed and I puffed and I blew that hill down, well, not really but you get the picture.  I wasn't speedy, I wasn't graceful, and I certainly wasn't lady like about it.  I said bad words, and even Amanda said I could call her names if I wanted to, as long as I was up at the top of the hill when I did it.  That is a moment I do not regret.  I'm grateful for that ride, and the 2.5 mile run that we did afterwards.  In that moment, I felt like I might actually be ready to do a triathalon. 

Before I sign off after this rambling story, I need to tell you that if you're reading this, you need to go read my friend Mae's blog.  She's getting an awesome opportunity to head to NYC and do a photo shoot at Weight Watchers because she is the epitome of a "Success Story" and they finally realized how amazing she is. 

Seriously, go read it.  Fall in love with Mae.  Wish you could snuggle with her awesome Boxer, Bowie.  Then thank me later. 

answer to the ultimate question of weight loss, dieting, and everything

I have a confession to make to most of you, I'm a bit of a nerd.  On the outside I appear girly and feminine, but in truth I was raised by a Trekkie, my favorite show growin up was the X-Files, and I've read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy just about as many times as I've read Pride and Prejudice. 

With that being said, I tend to think about life in terms of all of these influences.  First off, Star Trek taught me a lot about being open minded.  If Klingons can ultimately be nice guys, then I should never judge a book by the cover, right? 

Secondly, Trust No One.  No really, I try not to have to rely on people.  It is much easier for me to do things myself. 

And third, Don't Panic.  It's written on the cover of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and it's the simple and most amazing advice ever given. 

But then I think back to the answer to "The Ultimate Question" and I get a good laugh. 

42?  That's the answer?  Yah, right. 

In my weight loss journey, there is not one single answer.  Here are some answers I've recenlty come up with: 

Q: What should I eat for lunch?

Eat a salad. 

Q: What should I eat before I go to dinner?

Zero point soup. 

Q: I don't know if I want to go to spin class?

Get up. 

Q: I have an hour to kill, what do I do now?

Go to Target and walk around. 

Q: I've been staring at that cookie for days now, should I eat it?

Eat the damn cookie. 

Q: How do I get rid of late night snack attacks?

Paint your nails.   

And I'm imagining that some of you are all having the same mental conversations, right?  How do those go?  What are you asking yourself?  Are you usually in control of your actions? 

I'm just curious here, I can't be the only one.