tri update: training

It has been quite some time since I've told you all what's going on with the tri training.  First, I've developed some strong feelings for each of the events and although I'm apprehensive to share my thoughts, I'm going to anyway.  

Running sucks.  It isn't fun to me at all.  I've talked to everyone I can about running, and I just cannot seem to get much better than a 12 minute mile pace.  Then, I try to change things up and I run some hills and my pace shoots up to a 15 minute mile which makes me completely frustrated and incredibly sore.  I hate to run.  

The only good thing that's come of running is when I ran with my best friend and tri-buddy this weekend.  She was able to correct quite a few things I've been doing all wrong which lead to our 1.7 mile run being moderately enjoyable, which is a huge improvement!  

Biking is my favorite event to practice.  If I had more time, I'd just bike all the time.  I have reached the point where I'm rarely ever sore the day after a ride and I can simply focus on my breathing, my speed, my form, and enjoying myself.  Just pedaling like a goofball and chatting with my friend the other day got us to a 6 minute mile, and I think we can definitely improve.  I have a couple of different routes that I can take around my house, and each of them poses a challenge in a different way.  Length.  Hills.  Traffic.  You name it and I can face it.  I feel great after ever single ride, and I love not worrying about anything except improving!  

Swimming is like an old friend.  My mom used to call me a fish when I was a kid.  Ever summer she'd sign me up for swim and diving classes and I loved it.  I haven't swam laps in years, but a few weeks ago I hopped in to the lap pool at my local 24 Hour Fitness and just took off.  I told myself I'd try for just 10 laps, about half of the distance I'd need to complete for my sprint triathalon in October.  After 10 laps I felt so good I did another 5 laps and got out so I could head home and cook dinner.  I've swam a few more times since then, each time completing the full half mile I'll need to complete in the tri.  

Here's the re-cap.  I think the first event, swimming, will be like a wonderful warm up and enjoyable event for me.  Heading in to the bike ride will be a personal challenge for myself to get to a good speed and keep a steady pace for all twelve miles.  However, ending with the run will be a simple battle of mind over matter.  My mind hates running and I'll just have to convince myself that what I think doesn't matter, I need to do my best.  

Plain and simple.  

recipe review: brown rice

I like to think of myself as a fairly good cook.  I am pretty fearless, and I generally make good eats for myself and my family.  I've bravely tried out new recipes hundreds of times, and modified them lately to make them my own healthier versions.  However, I have one item that I simply cannot get right. 

I cannot cook brown rice. 

Rice cooker. 

Fail. 

Stove. 

Fail.

Me.

Fail.

So I resorted to purchasing pre-cooked brown rice from Trader Joe's.  You read that right folks.  I can make just about any dessert or dish in a cookbook, but I have to buy ready made brown rice.  I felt like such a failure.  Plus, it would be so much cheaper for me if I just knew the secret to cooking brown rice! 

Well one day, my fair god-blogger whispered down from the heavens I have a foolproof method for making perfect brown rice that is never sticky! To which I replied SIGN ME UP! 

So here goes: From Skinnytaste! 

How to make perfect brown rice

5 servings

4 points plus per serving

1 cup of brown rice

8 cups of water

1 1/2 teaspoons of salt

Rinse the rice with cold water for 30 seconds. Bring the water and salt to a boil over high heat in a large heavy pot with a tight fitting lid.

When the water is boiling add the rice, stir and partially cover (don't cover complete or it will spill over) and cook on medium-high heat for 30 minutes.

Drain the rice in strainer, then quickly return to the pot and cover tightly for 20 minutes so the steam finishes cooking the rice. Uncover the rice and fluff with a fork.

Makes about 3 1/2 cups. Different rice varieties may yield different amounts.

SUCCESS!  I can now cook my own brown rice!  That's amazing!  I'm extatic!  Thank you Gina from Skinnytaste! 

Then I saw this recipe and I drooled.  I'm going to have to try that ASAP.  Like this weekend!  Pulled beef and this side dish would be fantastic! 

want versus need

I am facing a major struggle lately.  I was ounces away from getting my fourth 5 pound sticker, then my birthday happened.  The week before my birthday was great, the week after my birthday I was the same weight, and the second week after my birthday I was battling TOM and a whole lot of snacking and up 1.2 pounds.  

If you're on the outside looking in, you might be saying "Gee, 1.2 pounds isn't a lot, get over it" and you're probably right.  But the point is that I need to nip it in the butt.  I need to stop the needless carbohydrate consumption and start getting more serious about the way that I'm training.  I need to ask myself one simple question: Is what I'm about to do something that I want or is it something that I need?  

It's a simple question, right?

But I'm so horrible about answering it.  

Most nights I'd rather stop at Target on my way home from work than the grocery store or the gym.

  

Most nights I'd rather pick up two pizzas than cook a healthy dinner.

Most nights I'd rather curl up with a good book than go to spin or take Maddie for a walk.  

But we all know that I don't need anything from Target, pizza, or to sit my chubby but on the couch.  I only want those things.  

What I need is to make more consistent and healthier choices.  It's not as hard as it sounds.  I don't need to make some stupid statement like "I'm going to go to the gym every single day."  I'd love to pretend I'm that girl, but I'm not that girl.  All I need to say is "I'm going to make healthier choices."

I'll choose an apple over a candy bar more often.  I'll choose one gym trip over nothing sometimes.  I'll make a healthy dinner more often instead of looking for the easiest take out solution.  

Fear not friends, I may have had a mediocre couple of weeks and I'm feeling super bloated, cranky, and irritated but I'm stepping right back on plan.  

My head is screaming "I WANT THAT LEFTOVER PIZZA!" but my body is telling me softly "I need some yogurt and berries."  Funny what we choose to listen to, isn't it?

Note, if you like the illustrations you should head over to Erin Hanson's website.

i don't f*cking wanna

I have a confession: I'm stuck in "I don't wanna" mode.  

I don't wanna workout.  

I don't wanna eat another apple.  

I don't wanna drink water instead of diet soda.  

Then I wonder why I can't hit that gall darned next goal!  

I can't hit the goal because Pretzel M&M's are quite tasty.  

I can't hit the goal because sleeping in is more fun than workout dvd's.  

I can't hit the goal because beer is delicious.  

I can't hit the goal because I don't wanna try.  

-

And so, I'm going to have a little pep talk with myself.  I'm going to ask myself why I am stopping myself and why I care more about snacks than I do my own personal well being.  

I am at that point in my journey where pants are starting to get more and more loose and old clothes are starting to fit again, but I simply cannot stop bringing myself down.  

I'm going to re-focus, re-center, start a new week with a weigh in and I'm going to forgive myself for whatever that number is and I'm going to move the EFF on!  Get over it!  Get over yourself!  Get over your love of junk and get back to the lovely and healthy foods that you know you love!  Skip the beer and wine for a while because they are a mutha fuggin treat, not a right!  

Start listening to your support group and stop listening to your cravings.  

Start asking for help instead of asking for a second serving.  

Find a darn anchor because you weight as much as one!  That's right, I don't have an anchor.  I need to find a stupid anchor!  It needs to be something I see every single stinking day of my life, otherwise I'll forget about it.  

Start moving your ass more because the last time I checked, thinking about exercise doesn't burn a single friggin calorie.  Driving by the gym on your way home doesn't count as activity.  

activity review: bob harper's bob's workout #2

So about two weeks ago, I reviewed Bob Harper's "Pure Burn Pure Strength" workout.  Then about a week ago, I reviewed workout #1 from his dvd, "Bob's Workout."  Today, I'm going to tell you about the second workout in this dvd.  

I keep waking up early every morning, and instead of trying to go back to sleep like I would have in the past, I've been getting out of bed and starting my day.  One day a few weeks back, I set out to conquer Bob's Workout:

Brief re-cap from the first review I did:  This dvd is really his full 60 minute workout spread in to two-30 minute workouts.  It isn't like the first one is beginner and the second one is advanced, they are both advanced.  You can do workout one, workout two, or play both workouts back to back for a really intense 60 minute workout.  

So here goes, I pushed play on workout #2 and was immediately greeted by Bob explaining that this was mainly an upper body workout.  This was perfect because although I've been spinning 2 times each week, I have been struggling with getting a good upper body workout.  By an odd stroke of luck, I was just complaining about it to one of my spin friends, Angela, the night before.  Also, I had just purchased a set of 5 pound dumbbells and a small kettlebell at Walmart, both of which I figured I'd need down the line.

The dvd starts with a warm up, and it contained no burpees like last time.  Hooray!  It was mainly jumping rope, jumping jacks, sumo squats, and jumping horizontally over a jump rope (or imaginary line in the ground).  I completed this set with relative ease and I was shocked.  The January or February version of me would have been completed winded and doubled over.

(Insert my mini celebration for a non-scale victory here.)

Next up was plyometric push ups, or a push up on an incline (I did mine on the edge of a dining room chair) with a "pop" at the top of the push up.  Hard, but I did the best I could.

From there, Bob has the model grab hand weights and go into dumbbell presses. You could do these on a ball, on a bench, on a set of steps, or on the ground which I did.

Following that, you move straight into dumbbell rows or bent dummbell rows.

There is a bit of an upper body break for some squats, but before you know it you're off and moving again!  You quickly move through standing shoulder presses and bicep curls before you find yourself back at the starting point.  You do this about three more times (and here's the important part) without stopping or taking a break.

It isn't the first round that hurts, and the second round is really just a period of time in which I was sweating buckets.  But before I knew it, I was in the third set and as the sweat poured into my eyes and my triceps and biceps burned, I realized this was going to be a good work out.

There is a small set at the end of the workout that includes dead lifts, step ups, and some more squat exercise.  But you only do this once, and the model really struggles through this last set.  During the model's struggle, I caught my breath, wiped off my sweaty face, got a drink of water, and completed the workout.  Bob really kicked that poor model's butt!

Before I knew it, I was done and into the cool down and stretches.  The total time of the dvd was less than 30 minutes, but I stretched a bit more after Bob was finished.  I love stretching, and my muscles were nice and warmed up!

Pro's: The dvd is fast and effective.  In less than thirty minutes and with only one set of hand weights and a single kettlebell I was able to complete what I feel like was a great upper body workout.  Optional equipment would be a second (identical weight) kettlebell for the dead lifts (I just used my dumbbells), a jump rope, and a bench or a set of steps.  The model was attractive (he looked like Alex O'Loughlin).

Con's: The model sort of pooped out at the end, and they sort of stop and wait for him to catch up.  Now, I was hurting and sweating, but I didn't need all that extra time.  I ended up fitting in an extra set of dead lifts and some more cardio into his breaks.  Also, the cool down and stretches at the end simply aren't enough.  There are about two leg stretches and two arm stretches.  I need more.  It's no big deal, I just tacked a few extra stretches onto the end and I was all set.  Also missing are any dedicated ab exercises, although you do use those muscles to stabilized you throughout the dvd.

Overall, I really enjoyed the dvd.  I'll definitely be doing it more often, as I really feel like I want to tone and work out my upper body and torso.  

activity review: bob harper's bob's workout #1

About a week ago, I reviewed Bob Harper's "Pure Burn Pure Strength" workout.  Now, I'd like to share with you about workout #1 from his dvd, "Bob's Workout."  Yes, he made a dvd about his own workout regime.  Yes, I knew it was going to be tough.  Yes, it was still tougher than I prepared myself for.  

Back on Easter Sunday, I woke up tired and sore from a pretty rough week of work and workouts.  I'd gone 5 days straight with spin, the Lady Gaga workout, more spin, and another Bob Harper dvd.  I knew I should get in some form of a workout, but what I simply didn't want to.  I made coffee, I ate two cinnamon rolls (hey, Mike wasn't awake yet and I didn't want it to go to waste!), and then I got desperate.  

I was either going to (a) eat more or (b) get moving.  So I stomped upstairs, put on some workout gear and my heart rate monitor, and came back down to the living room to workout.  I grabbed my towel, my water bottle, my little dumbbells (it's time for bigger ones!), and the remote control.  I set out to conquer Bob's Workout:

The first thing you need to know about Bob's Workout is that it is really his full 60 minute workout spread in to two-30 minute workouts.  It isn't like the first one is beginner and the second one is advanced, they are both advanced.  You can do workout one, workout two, or play both workouts back to back for a really intense 60 minute workout.  

I chose to start with the first workout and see how it went before I did workout two.  Good choice.  

It opens with a brief cardio set which includes burpees (boo, hiss) and then moves on to kettlebell exercises (I don't have them, I used dumbbells) and then lateral rows from a plank position (with an optional incline used by the model).  I have never done lateral rows in a plank position and surprised myself when I did the entire set!  You move rather quickly through lunges and as soon as you think you've gotten a break, he makes you start over with the burpee segment!  Needless to say, those lateral rows and lunges are about 10 times as hard during that second round.  

That takes you about 15 minutes into the workout where he then introduces the second interval.  This is something I (a) cheated on and (b) will have to continue to work towards.  This interval included things that I simply couldn't do such as a spine roll: stand, crouch, roll onto my back, roll back up onto my feet and stand up again.  I'm 100% positive that this is an excellent abdominal and total body workout, but I simply couldn't do it.  I chose to substitute crunches and Russian twists during this time.  Next up was some wacky exercise in which you hold a dumbbell up towards the sky as you stand, crouch, sit, lie on your back, then get back up.  I did dumbbell side bends.  

There are a few more heart pumping exercises that are like runner's stretches combined with mountain climbers, a few planks, and then you do the whole circuit again.  

There is a brief, but pretty decent stretch at the end of the dvd and then you're done!  It's about 28 minutes total, and Bob very carefully explains that you can make this workout harder (hah!) by simply upping the weights you're using as you get stronger.  We'll see if I ever get that far.  

Wrap up: Okay I know I cheated through this workout, but I focused on keeping my heart rate up even if I couldn't do the exact activity on the dvd and I kept moving the whole time.  I was definitely sweating through the whole dvd, and my legs and arms were noodles by the end of it.  My heart rate monitor showed that I burned over 300 calories, and I could certainly feel it!  

This is not a beginner's dvd.  This is not your old step class dvd workout.  This is not an easy day.  I made the mistake of doing this dvd on a morning when I was already sore, but in fact I'm glad I did.  I can now appreciate how truly challenging this dvd is going to be for me in the future, and I really like that I barely noticed that the thirty minutes were up.  You will definitely not be bored during this workout!  

The model in the dvd got her asphalt kicked if you know what I mean, but honestly the only thing Bob Harper did during this workout was the stretches.  He guided her the entire time, corrected the model as she needed, and gave you tips and tricks for the exercises.  It was a different format than I was used to, but I guess it worked out alright?  

There you have it!  Bob's Workout, part 1!  

a funny for my friends

Courtesy of Jack Sh*t

If you've never read his blog, do yourself a favor and go check it out.  He puts the humor into weight loss, points out our common ignorance, and puts everything into perspective!  

progress update

If you've been a Weight Watcher for any length of time, you remember that at one point they called their plan "Momentum."  I never understood why.  

I do now!  

You see, I'm a numbers based person.  In my life, numbers mean everything!  Numbers like how much money is in my accounts or the numerical value of how much of a chemical is in a sample I'm testing.  You could say that I'm sort of obsessed with numbers.  

So a few weeks back, I decided to explore my eTools page on Weight Watchers.  It tracks my food and keeps track of the number of points that I'm shoveling into my mouth, but it also records my weight every week after I step on that scale at my meeting.  

Let's just say eTools rocks.  You can set it up to only show you points tracking, activity tracking, or weight records for a specific date range!  I had to play around with this feature to truly appreciate how hard I've been working.  

Step 1: I asked eTools to show me results from the last week in 2011 into the first week of 2012, basically my first year back on plan.  This was sort of a disappointing year for me, I spent a lot of time hopping on and off of plan and I spent almost no time exercising.  The results weren't bad, but they weren't all that great either.  In twelve months, I recorded a loss of 11.2 pounds.  Less than one pound per month on average.  Actually it is a loss of 0.93 pounds per month.  Like I said, I like numbers.  

Step 2: Then I started looking at some small life changes.  Like when my mom joined Weight Watchers with me back in the fall of 2011.  She's been on plan with me for approximately six months (I don't remember her exact start date, so I'm estimating) and I managed to lose 8 pounds in that time.  Now that means that my average weight loss jumps up to 1.33 pounds per month since my mother has come into this journey with me!  That's a 40% improvement from 2011, when I was faltering and trying to do it on my own!  Yowsah!  

Now let's look even closer, at some more recent changes.  The last week in 2011, I committed to plan 100% and I started taking control.  At the time of writing this blog post, I am approximately three and a half months into these changes and I've lost a total of 7 pounds.  That is an average loss of 2 pounds per month! It is a 107% improvement from my average weight loss for all of 2011 and it is a 50% improvement from my average over the last 6 months.  

What did I do?  Not a whole lot actually.  I started by attending spin classes twice a week.  It is only about 2 hours of my week, which I manage to fit in, and it makes a big difference in my confidence level.  Then I started taking more control of what I was bringing into my house to eat.  In other words, I became a more careful grocery shopper.  I followed the simple rule that you cannot eat something if you don't have it, and it made a huge difference.  If you don't have healthy food in the house, it is going to prohibit you from making good choices.  If you don't have junk food in the house, it is going to slow you down on bad choices.  

Notice I just said  it will "slow you down on bad choices."  This is because I didn't give up things like going out to dinner.  I can still make bad choices if I go out to dinner with friends and family, but I'm less likely to let them occur.  My mom and I have this saying that we got from a past Weight Watchers leader, "Date the enemy, don't bring him home."  What this means to us is that it is okay to go out to dinner and splurge a little, but you need to leave the bad stuff at the table.  It isn't a huge deal if you split ice cream dessert at a restaurant, but it would be horrible if you brought home a 5 gallon tub of ice cream and started chowing down on it!  Date the ice cream, but don't bring the ice cream home.  

It is for this reason that I don't buy frozen french fries at the grocery store, but I still eat them at a restaurant. I don't keep loads of pre made pizza dough in my fridge any more, but I'm not afraid to buy a cheese pizza at a restaurant.  I have also started (sometimes) asking for a box with my dinner, and in some cases that waitress will box half of my dinner before she even brings it out to me so that I don't have to do it myself.  The reality is that I'm usually satisfied (or even full) after eating half of the dinner, and I can eat the rest of my dinner at a later time.  Saves me money, saves me time, saves me points, what's not to love?  

So there you have it, my numerically motivated and highly personal update!  If you have eTools or another way of tracking, I challenge you to take a look at how you've been doing in the past and present.  It's really eye opening!  

the "F" word

No, not that one!  Get your mind out of the no-no's. 

I'm talking about the word forgiveness.  I struggle with forgiving myself and moving on.  I struggle with it a lot. 

I can forgive just about anyone in my life for any harm or hurt that they've caused me, but I simply can not forgive myself for a single thing.  I think this is a very hard post for me to write, because it is an admission of a large problem in my life.  I am harder on myself than anyone else is. 

I have been this way forever.  As long as I can remember, I have always been extremely hard on myself.  In elementary school, I received a "B" on a test and I actually began crying and hyperventilating.  I had such a problem breathing that they actually had to call my mother to come take me to the doctor, where I was given medicine to calm me down.  I was sedated for getting a "B." 

This behavior continued as I got older.  When I was offered the opportunity to accelerate into a grade higher than I was in, I took it.  My parents didn't make me, I did it by choice.  I went from the fourth grade one year, into the sixth grade the next year. 

In junior high school, I was offered the opportunity to begin taking my high school level math classes, and I took it.  Not only that, I began working as an after school tutor in these math classes.  I was supposed to be in the seventh grade, but I was in the eighth grade, and I was tutoring people in the eleventh grade.  Yah, it was really odd.  I was an odd child. 

I won't get into all of the social ramifications of my decisions, such as being a seventeen year old college freshman in a world of fraternity parties and crazy behavior.  I'll simply tell you that it had some extremely awkward moments, and I survived them. 

Eventually, in college I learned to slow down.  Instead of graduating in four years and being a twenty year old with a college degree, I slowed down.  I worked on campus, I took classes that were fun and had nothing to do with my major, and instead of graduating at twenty one years old, I took an extra quarter of fun classes and graduated at twenty two years old like a normal person. 

Now, I see this behavior slowly start to creep up on me again.  I'm negatively pressuring myself, and I need to stop. 

If I have a bad meal, I feel helpless and anxious.  I do one of two things: I stop eating for the day or I go off the deep end and binge.  Neither of these are healthy behaviors, and it is through tracking everything that I've come to discover that I'm doing this. 

If I have a bad couple of days, I feel myself slipping into a sort of anxious depression.  "What is the scale going to say?"  "Why don't I skip my weigh in this week?"  "What is wrong with me?" 

After a couple of weeks in a plateau, all hell breaks loose in my head and I find myself (figuratively) beating myself up.  I start depriving myself of things because I think that is the reason that I've not been losing weight.  Then after a few days of deprivation, I rebel and I eat way too much. 

Lately, I've been working really hard to forgive myself.  I'm not going make it through this journey if I don't learn how to do it.  I need to allow myself a bad meal, forgive myself and move on.  I need to be alright with the fact that I might have a few days of a "hearty appetite" and simply track it and get over it.  I need to see a plateau for what it is: temporary.

This is what I'm trying to do, this is my daily struggle.  I'm not fighting the scale.  I'm not beating up the food.  I'm not battling exercise.  My own dilemna is within my own head. 

And that, my friends, is what sucks the most. 

activity review: bob harper's pure burn super strength (beginner workout)

If you follow me on Twitter, you'll already know that I talked about a big dvd sale that happened at Bob Harper's website a few weeks ago.  Every dvd was on sale for only $5!  At the time of writing this blog, the sale was still going on so you might want to go look!  

In truth, fellow Southern California gal @reducedfatgirl had mentioned Bob's Kettlebell dvd a couple of times and I had already decided that I'd pick it up at Target on my next visit.  I'm glad I waited!  $5 instead of $19.99 is way better!  

So here's what I bought:

Kettlebell Cardio Shred

Pure Burn Super Strength

Body Rev Cardio Conditioning

Bob's Workout

I know that when I bought these that they were probably selling them off for $5 so they could introduce Bob's new line of dvds and sell them for a much higher price.  Did I care?  Not at all.  A workout is still a workout, even if it's last season's workout.  

I should warn you, I don't watch The Biggest Loser so I don't know much about Bob or his training tactics.  I simply know that the Fit Bottomed Girls love him, and I think they're pretty rad.  Also, I'm trying to build up some home gym options, so I bought these dvds.  

Plus, with a body like that he must be doing something right.  Right?  

So here are my thoughts about Bob Harper's Pure Burn Super Strength dvd:  

The first thing you should know about this dvd is that there are two very different workouts: a full blown 60 minute workout and a 20 minute beginner's or express workout.  I had done the Lady Gaga workout the previous day, and I had my weekly 90 minute spin class with Cheryl the following day, so I thought I'd start with the beginner's workout and keep it easy.  

First thoughts: there is a timer in the bottom right portion of the screen (love) that also gives you the name of the exercise that you are currently doing (double love).  I found that I wasn't looking at my watch to check the minutes or scratching my head when I didn't hear what Bob was telling me what exercise to do.  

The way that the dvd is shot is very different than most dvds that I've tried, but I really liked it.  It is a moving camera and when they introduce a new move, the camera focuses on important parts of the models bodies so you can see details.  Also, there is a freeze frame technique that they use to snapshot a couple of the moves so that you can see the starting move and the ending move of each exercise.  This was pretty helpful, even though the moves were pretty basic.  

With that being said, the dvd is pretty basic.  A couple of stretches, some squats, bicep & tricep exercises, lunges, lateral exercises, push ups, planks, and crunches.  That pretty much sums it up.  The guidance was good, Bob was encouraging and not at all mean (I don't like mean instructors).  He definitely pointed out problem areas or techniques to avoid, as well as providing easy/moderate/difficult options.  

I was a bit disappointed at the end of the workout because there was only a 2 stretch cool down.  I like to really stretch and push my body just after a workout because the muscles are warm and very receptive.  I felt as if the way that they kept the workout under 30 minutes was to (a) skip all cardio moves and (b) cut the end of the workout off.  

With that being said, if I'm ever in a crunch I could definitely see myself grabbing a couple of dumbbells and running through this workout.  It's simple, it's basic, and it's complete.  I felt as if it hit all my major muscle groups rather equally, and by increasing my dumbbell size, I could continue using this workout for a long time.  You can start with no weight and move up to large dumbbells if you wanted to, there really isn't a limit to your skill level.  

It was 20 minutes and my Polar told me that I burned about 150 calories.  Not too shabby.  It definitely wasn't a cardio workout, but I felt pretty good after I had completed it.  

So there you have it.  Keep an eye out on my blog for my reviews of the 60 minute workout that's also on this dvd, as well as the other three dvds that I bought!  

"i can't get all the oil out of the tuna"

Every once in a while, something you over hear in a meeting room or read online hits you, and when it does it hits you HARD. 

This happened to me a couple of weeks ago in my meeting room.  We were discussing the upcoming Easter dinners and the struggles that we might encounter, and one of our beloved members, Stephanie, raised her hand with a comment. 

Back story on this woman: She's fabulous in every sense of the word.  She's honest.  She's a New Yorker, and she owns the accent (which I love).  She's funny.  She's open like a book.  I truly am grateful that she's in my meeting. 

So as we discussed all of the problems we might face (hard boiled eggs, chocolates, honey ham, etc), Stephanie pipes up with this amazing note.  She said, "When I joined Weight Watchers for the first time 40 years ago, we had to eat a lot of tuna on the plan and they didn't make water packed tuna, only oil packed.  One woman actually said in the meeting that she wasn't losing any weight because she couldn't squeeze all of the oil out of the tuna!"  

I sat there in sort of a stupor for a moment as I took this in, it didn't seem incredibly far fetched for me, but then Stephanie pointed out the obvious: It isn't one little thing like oil in our lives that prevents us from losing weight. 

BINGO! 

This is the absolute truth. 

It isn't Easter that prevents me from losing weight.  It isn't Christmas or Thanksgiving either!  Now I'm a mathematical person, so bear with me.  If you counted up all of the holidays and birthdays that my family and I celebrate, that means that we celebrate less than 5% of the total year. 

It is the other 95% of the time that is my downfall! 

Skinny people celebrate holidays.  Skinny people celebrate birthdays.  Skinny people indulge. 

But not all the time. 

It isn't necessarily the holidays or celebations that I need to watch out for, it's the rest of the time.  It's the lazy day when I grab pizza.  It's the night I skipped my workout to have some adult beverages with friends.  It's the day I said I'd have two beers, but I never outlined how big that they'd be. 

If I can cut down on those moments of weakness, I will become stronger in the long run. 

yah, that just happened

At several points in my life, I've tried to lose weight.  It's no secret.  I was never the skinny girl growing up, but I stayed as active as I could.  I started gaining weight after high school and started college as a size 13, then I did a doctor monitored weigth loss plan with my mom and went down to a size 7.  After bouncing around and discovering that I really loved beer when I turned 21, I graduated college as a size 13 again. 

Just after college, I joined Weight Watchers for the first time.  I started out around 180 pounds and while I entered into the 160's and started getting fit, I quit before I even hit my 10% goal. 

But before I quit, I started going to the gym again.  I was getting fit and trim, trying out new classes, and even buying myself a couple of personal training sessions!  I was enjoying myself, until a couple of key things happened: 

First, I had a bad encounter at a spin class.  I won't tell you what gym, and I don't remember the instructor's name, but I will share the horror I encountered.  I had lost a bit of weight and I decided to try out my very first spin class.  I was trying to get set up on the bike, the class was extremely full, and the instructor was too busy chatting and setting up his bike for me to get a chance to talk to him.  Believe me, I tried. 

The class started and I began to get my butt kicked.  At one point, I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the handlebars of the spin bike.  I basically doubled over onto the bike in pain.  What happened next was inexcusable and nearly made me cry. 

The instructor turned everyone's attention to me and pointed out my horrible form!  I was mortified.  I was in pain.  I was over it. 

I finished the class, packed up my gear, and didn't try another spin class again for nearly five years. 

If I could find that man today, I'd shove my spin shoe up his ass. 

My next bad experience happened at a different gym where I had purchased five personal training sessions.  I met with my trainer and we worked out once a week for four weeks.  I liked her.  She was a college student, not much younger than me, but knowledgeable and compassionate.  We really got along. 

On the fifth session, when I should be talking about buying more time, I was shocked to find that my trainer was being replaced with a different one.  Why?  Because she didn't have as many clients as my previous trainer and it wasn't fair. 

I was too meek or inexperienced to call bullshit and ask for a manager, and so I continued on with the session.  At the end of the session, she asked me if I'd like to continue trainer with her and purchase more sessions.  I politely said no, I walked out of the gym, and I've never had a personal trainer since then. 

Actually, I've met with one recently and I believe I'm ready to try it again.  This time it will be on my terms, though.  This trainer isn't affiliated with a particular gym.  This trainer isn't a young, stupid, commission based girl.  This trainer is seasoned, a veteran, compassionate, gorgeous, humble, kind, and strong.  Really strong. 

My point with those two stories is this: I'm to blame for getting de-railed on this journey.  I had two bad things happen to me and before you know it, I hated everything about the gym.  I hated classes, I hated trainers, I hated meat heads, I hated Barbie dolls, etc. 

But just because I didn't have to stop, doesn't mean that I'm not going to be hard on fitness professionals right now.  Trainers, instructors, gym managers, I am talking you. 

It takes a lot of guts for an overweight or obese person to walk into the gym, so you'd better f*cking be polite, alright?  The last thing we want to hear or feel is that you don't want to be there with us.  You think we want to be there?  No, we'd rather be at home in our trusty hole covered yoga pants while eating an entire cheese pizza.  We slid our asses into spandex and showed up, so shut the f*ck up.  I've never once in my life heard a cheese pizza say that it would have to cancel our date because it had something else to do and yoga pants don't judge. 

You're bending us over with fees every month because we might not have the upfront money or simply just the space to house all of the equipment, so try to keep the equipment in good shape for us, would ya?  Nothing is worse than trying to figure out how to work out on a machine that is (a) dirty or (b) broken.  I simply cannot wait for the day that I try to use a machine at the gym, only to find out that something on it is broken as it catapults me out of the seat in front of a bunch of other gym goers.  That's going to be awesome. 

The simple act of hiring a personal trainer is a (giant neon Vegas style) signal to you that we are admitting that we have a problem and we need help, so could you do us a decent human kindness and not act like such a cocky bad ass when you're training us?  We know you look good, that's part of the reason we hired you.  Now stop cock walking down the row of weights and help us look good too. 

We are doing all of these things to better our lives.  We're doing them to increase our health.  We're doing them to feel better about ourselves.  The best thing for you to do is realize that we might just be a sinking ship, and your words are actions might sink us or sail us home.  Trust us, if we are successfull, then you will be successfull too.  What is better advertising than a skinny bitch running around telling everyone that you helped them get that skinny?  Nothing is better.  Nothing. 

So in your face gym industry. 

By the way, this blog was inspired by @CaitPlusAte's guest blog here:  The Role of a Personal Trainer

final results: monica's birthday challenge

Back in February, one of my Twitter friends decided to host a challenge on her blog.  I've never participated in one of these challenges, so I decided I'd try it out.  

The challenge was in honor of her friend, Monica.  Monica's birthday is April 26th, one day after my father's birthday.  It was to be an eight week challenge (week 0 through 7), and the winner would receive an amazing prize package courtesy of Dacia, the hostess.  

All I had to do was lose weight.  I wasn't even worried about winning, I just wanted to lose weight.  

Here are my results:  

Week 1

Down 0.5 pounds

Down 0.27%

Week 2

Down a total of 2.2 pounds

Down 1.19%

Week 3

Down a total of 3.8 pounds

Down 2.08%

Week 4

Down a total of 3.8 pounds

Down 2.08%

Week 5

Down a total of 3.7 pounds

Down 2.04%

Week 6

Down a total of 4 pounds

Down 2.21%

Week 7

Down a total of 5.8 pounds

Down 3.20%

I know for a fact that I didn't win because during week 6 of the challenge one of our participants was down over 8%.  Eight freaking percent!  That's awesome!  Well, not for me I guess, but still awesome for that person!

To be completely honest, I'm so glad that I chose to do this.  It was constantly in the back of my head, silently motivating me and inspiring me to keep making little changes on my journey.  In a total of eight weeks, I lost nearly six pounds and that was a fairly steady decline for me.  I was proud of the fact that I finished strong and I kept going.  I feel great!

So keep an eye out for a possible challenge coming on my blog!  I like the idea so much that I think I'd really like to host one!

activity review: lady gaga - take 2

In March I posted a review of the Lady Gaga workout from Glamour magazine.  It was a great workout, and like I mentioned, I was done in 22 minutes.  

Well I liked it so much that I did it again, this time my body was being cranky so I added an extra song and an extra circuit.  Sometimes, when my body is bloated or feels icky, adding an extra workout perks me up.  If you think I'm nuts, your probably right.  

(Please don't read that incorrectly, I don't make myself workout when I'm in pain or sore.  I listen to my body.)

Songs #1-#4 stayed the same from my previous workout.  

Song #5

Won't Back Down (featuring Pink) by Eminem (4:26)

I dare you not to feel tough when you listen to this song.  Come on, Pink is freaking awesome.  

I started with 30 tricep kick backs.

Then I went into 30 glute extensions per side.

And finally I did two 30 second planks with a 15 second break in the middle.  I'm lame, I know.  

I still ended with The Last Song by The All American Rejects and kept it to about three minutes of cardio and two minutes of cool down and stretching.  

The whole thing took about 29 minutes for me to complete, and my Polar told me that I burned over 300 calories.  I plugged this into the activity calculator for a total of 6 activity points, but I know that if you're doing the math conversion (80 calories burned = 1 activity point) then I would have only gotten about 4 activity points.  

It's totally up to you, but as for me, I'm putting it in as 6.  Last week I ate every single activity point that I earned.  It was a bad week, I doubt I'll do that again.  

I hope I don't do that again.

Once again, this is a great way to do some circuit training in your own living room.  All I use is my iTunes, a towel, water bottle, and a set of hand weights.  This. Is. Simple.

I like simple.  

top 10 life lessons that i've learned in spin class

I was pedaling away in spin class the other day when I realized that a lot of things that I've learned in spin class can be applied to my every day life.  I have to share these with you!  

10.  Every once in a while, you need to sit back down and have a drink (of water).

So often in life and in spin class I forget that I can just take a moment for myself, and it is something I struggle with daily.  I remind myself to take a moment at work for an apple or a quick walk.  I remind myself at home that I'm not alone and I can ask for help.  I remind myself that when I can't breathe at spin class, that I should sit down and have a sip of water.  

Speaking of water, I picked up a great new water bottle the other day at a cycling store.  

Camelbak Podium Big Chill  

It doesn't hurt that it's name is the same as one of my mother's favorite movies.  Honestly I like it because it keeps the water cooler for an entire spin class and it's really easy to drink from.  I don't have to remove my water bottle top every stinking time I want a drink now.  

9.  The right music can change everything.  

I'm a music lover, it's how I was raised and I truly love the way it makes me feel.  I can play a record from ten years ago or ten seconds ago and I can still remember how I felt the first time I heard it.  I love that in spin class and in life, I can hear a song and it can push me up a hill that I've been too scared to face.  (I dare you not to feel tough with this one!)

8.  Just because everyone around you is standing up and huffing and puffing, doesn't mean you have to stand up to do it.  

Some times in spin class, I take a quick peek around and realize that although the instructor has told us to stand up and peddle in position 3, I'd like to sit down and push myself harder in a seated position.  I don't do it a lot, but sometimes I enjoy the heat and the burn in the tops of my legs when I leave my resistance set really high and push myself in this way.  The same rings true for life.  You don't have to face every hill exactly like the people around you, you can face it any way that you'd like.  

7.  The right gear or tools make all the difference in the world.  

Oh man, never have more true words been spoken.  From the padded shorts and spin shoes to the new heart rate monitor (that I haven't reviewed yet), the tools really make the ride better for me.  Look around yourself, what do you think you need to make your life (or ride) easier?  

6.  Whatever you do, don't stop pedaling.

I don't know if you've ever had this happen to you in spin class, but I've done it a handful of times and it sucks: There you are at a heavy resistance and the song winds down, so you slow down to get your water and towel off your face but you don't realize that you've slowed to a complete stop.  Now you look like an idiot because you're making that horrible face as you push your legs to try to start the bike pedaling again, and finally you give in and take off the resistance and stand up so you can get moving.  

Really, it's true.  Don't stop moving.  If you stop, you've lost your power and momentum and it's a b*tch to get it back.  So follow Dory's advice.  

5.  When the ride gets extremely hard, sometimes you have to stand up and get some momentum.

The same is true in life, you could sit down and make it through most of the drama it's going to throw your way but every now and then you just have to stand up and power through it.  

4.  Some things in life are worth sweating for.

No, really.  It seems so simple, but so forgettable.  Aren't you worth a little sweat?  You sweat taking care of other people in your life, so why not yourself?  I struggle with taking a couple of hours out of my schedule every week so I can sweat, but I feel so much better after I do.  The final out come and the endorphins are well worth the pain of a sweat filled work out.  

3.  There is something about overcoming obstacles that inspires and strengthens friendship.

I look around during and after a spin class, and I see nothing but friends.  These people have cheered me on, yelled for me to work harder, and high fived me at the end of a tough workout.  The same is true for my non-spin friends, and I appreciate all of the support these people give no matter where they give it.  

2.  If you don't love what you do, you'll eventually stop doing it.

If I didn't love spin classes, I wouldn't buy 20 classes at a time.  If I didn't love science, I wouldn't be a chemist.  If I didn't love losing weight while still eating what I want, I wouldn't be a Weight Watcher.  This seems simple enough, but too many times I've tried to force myself into doing something that I didn't love.  I don't love all protein diets.  I don't love to run.  I don't love laundry.  

Well, I guess I can skip everything but the laundry part.  

1.  Ride your own ride.  

Man, I love this saying.  I say it all the time!  At work, I say it when people start complaining about how other people do their job.  With my friends, I say it when I see people trying to tell my ladies how to live their life.  In spin class, I say it to myself when I start to have self doubt.  I'm on my bike, I'm in my shoes, I'm in my own head.  I have to know myself and push myself accordingly.  

i'm talkin' to myself over here

A few weeks back, the meeting topic was positive self talk  I think my leader, Scott, had it right when he said "I am never going to look down at the scale, see that I've gained weight, and tell myself that it's a good thing."  

Boy, ain't that the truth.  

So the meeting started to shift it's direction at that point, and it went from a bit of a tense subject (what I really think when the scale goes up) to a great big happy celebration.  

One member had gained weight that week, but she didn't care because she had one hell of a non scale victory: Early in the week, she had gone to see her doctor and had an amazing report.  No more high blood pressure.  No more high cholesterol.  No more medications.  

Now, I'm not an emotional person like my mother, however I definitely got teary eyed at this accomplishment.  

Then the conversation shifted even more with the question, "What do you tell yourself when you aren't happy with the scale, the way you feel, your appearance, etc?"  The truth is, I start to slip and slide at that moment and I eat anything and everything in my path.  I don't have a sweet tooth, but I start cruising for cookies and candy.  I may have just eaten lunch, but I want something more.  

Then I spiral out of control and wake up the next morning with a stomach ache and one heck of a guilt cloud over my head.  

But one of our members said something absolutely brilliant (and so logical that I'm embarrassed I've never thought of it myself!).  She said that if a friend had come to us and was at a really bad place with their weight loss journey, we would encourage that friend and tell her to stick with it while keeping up the hard work.  One bad day, one bad week, or even one bad month is trivial because this is going to be a long process, and in the grand scheme of things, a few mistakes won't kill us.  She also pointed out that none of us would ever look our upset friend in the eye and simply say, "Well, that's it.  Throw in the towel.  You're never going to be able to do this."  

Lightbulb.  

I would never tell my friend to give up on herself, so why do I let myself do the same thing?  

Why do I have one bad meal and let it slide into a horrific day of binge eating and skip tracking?  

Why do I have two bad days and quit tracking for the rest of the week?  

Why do feel absolutely horrible for having to miss a work out?  

Why do I skip tracking something bad that I ate when I'm the only one that ever sees my tracker?  

Why does it seem like I don't love myself enough to be honest with myself and admit my mistakes?  

As you see, the list could go on and on.  I'll stop there.  But I'll leave you with this photo that proves that some weeks, the number on the scale doesn't mean much.  

"do you mind sharing?"

At the end of each of our Weight Watchers meetings, we have our celebrations, as I'm sure you all do.  We celebrate our victories both on the scale and off, and my leader is pretty fantastic at making each of the "losers" feel like big winners. 

Scott asks by asking where the honoree is sitting, and follows up with them to make sure it's okay if he shares with everyone what victory we are celebrating today.  I've never heard a person turn Scott down.  I can't even imagine them saying, "No, don't tell everyone how great I'm doing."  It seems silly to me, but he asks us all nevertheless. 

After he shares their victory and we clap and congratulate them, he asks another question: "Do you mind sharing what is working for you?" 

Then the fumbling begins. 

The number one answer each week is TRACKING.  Then the room goes silent and we all nod our heads because we know it works and yet some of us still didn't do it that week. 

Other good answers are ACTIVITY or SUPPORT (a lot of people come in family or co-worker groups), but I feel like a lot of people just say whatever comes to mind at that moment, not really taking the time to think about what really has been working. 

When I had lost over 18 pounds, I realized that I had better start thinking about what I was going to say if Scott ever asked me that question.  You see, my next milestone was going to be a big one: when I saw that scale drop down a few more ounces, I will have lost over 20 pounds and 10% of my body weight.  That's right, I can say that I'm only 90% of the person that I used to be, but 100% improved! 

Then I panicked!  What was actually working for me?  Which aspect of the program was giving me the best results?  Well it wasn't just one thing, I think it was a combination a few things and I had to jot them down so that I'd remember just what they were when I was called upon to celebrate. 

The biggest weight loss aid for me is support.  This can come in many forms, and I've mentioned most of them before but I'll say it again.  My mom and I are Weight Watchers together.  I have a co-worker that is a Weight Watcher.  My boyfriend is very supportive of my choice to change my life.  And finally, Twitter Weight Watchers are incredibly important to my success.  There is an entire network of men and women out there that are Weight Watchers, Lifetime Members, and Weight Watchers Leaders and I rely heavily on their online support each and every single day.  I can talk to them about recipes, points bombs, new products, bad days, good workouts, good health guidelines, and more!  I am so grateful for these Twitter friends, and I'm sure I'll be talking about more and more of them on my blog. 

Next up in my journey was a new mentality I adopted back in December and I'm so glad that I did.  I adopted the mentality that I would try anything once to see if I liked it.  Since adopting this mentality I have had loads of success!  I have discovered things about myself that I would have never known had I shied away from them like I always did!  I tried a spin class and I loved it.  I tried using a heart rate monitor and I loved it.  I tried an alternative for peanut butter suggested to me and I loved it.  Don't get me wrong, there are things I've tried that didn't work for me (ahem, kale chips) but I'm not going to talk too much about them for fear that someone may avoid them because of what I said on my blog.  My advice, try everything one time.  Give it a shot.  At least I know now that my dog loves kale chips. 

Another mental adjustment that has worked for me is my mental reset button.  No, it's not a real thing.  It's just something I have to give myself permission to do so that I can keep on moving and not allow myself to be paralyzed by failure and fear.  Sometimes I have a bad weekend, and I get really upset with myself.  This leads to anger, anger leads to anxiety, and anxiety leads to things like stress eating or extra glasses of wine with dinner.  So here's what I do, I forgive myself for that bad breakfast, or the bad day, or the bad weekend that I may have had and I forget about it.  I don't let it turn into a bad week or a bad month.  I nip it in the butt, I wallow for a split second or maybe I just wallow for the thirty or so minutes I'm in my Weight Watchers meeting.  Then I get up and walk away from it.  Done and done. 

So there you have it.  Three things that work for me on this journey so far.  I know there are more, but these are the faithful friends that have kept me sane so far. 

Well that, and the numbers marching slowly down on the scale. 

tip of the day: tell someone!

I don't often walk into a friend or family member's home, plop myself down on the couch and say "I'm on Weight Watchers!"  In fact, I don't tell very many people at all.  It isn't a fad diet.  It isn't something that I'm just doing for a while.  It isn't a fundraising opportunity.  It's my life.  

I'm going to be a Weight Watcher forever.  It's been decided.  I joined for the last time in December 2011 when I weighed 199 pounds, my personal heaviest weight.  I don't often talk about that, and I rarely say a number.  (By the way, thank you to Valerie for asking me questions I used to be afraid to answer!)

So there you have it folks: the truth.  I'm doing my thing at my pace and on my terms.  I don't run marathons.  I don't go to bootcamp at some ungodly hour every morning.  I don't cut out all carbohydrates and beer.  

I exercise when I can and when I want to.  I eat what I should when I want to.  I drink beer.  I eat hamburgers.  I could never give up french fries.  

So why is this post called tell someone! then?  Because I lived in hiding with my new lifestyle for a long time.  I avoided exercising for nearly a year.  I didn't take time for myself to shop the way I wanted to and go to the gym as I saw fit.  I didn't want people to notice the changes, and they didn't.  I lost about 10 pounds in the first 12 months on plan, and it wasn't enough.  I've now lost about 10 pounds in just three months on plan when I did something extraordinary: I started talking about my journey.  

I started small with my family, and do you know what happened?  My mother and aunt both rejoined Weight Watchers with me in a matter of a few months!  It's great!  

Then I talked about it more and more with my boyfriend, to make sure that he knew this didn't mean we could never eat a buffalo wing again.  I took advantage of his overtime at work and joined the beloved spin studio I've mentioned before.  I am very vocal about loving my workouts and my instructors.  He has realized that I'm not really different than I was before, but I usually order off the kid's menu or box up half of my food to take home with me for lunch.  Now for birthdays or anniversaries, he buys me class packages to my favorite gym.  He is incredibly supportive, but in a quiet and behind the scenes sort of way, and I love him all the more for it.  

Lately, as my clothes get more and more loose, I have begun telling a lot more people about my lifestyle.  Now when they ask if I'm losing weight, I smile and I try to say things like "I'm working on it" or "I hope so, thanks for noticing my effort."  It sounds corny, but thanking them for the compliment is a battle in my head.  Then they usually ask how, and I'm honest.  I tell them that I am trying out all sorts of activities and so far I really love spin classes, and of course I tell them that I'm a Weight Watcher.  

This means that I have friends joining Weight Watchers with me and I'm building an incredible support group.  I have co-workers and long lost buddies that are signing up for spin classes with me all the time and I rarely go into a class where I don't know someone.  People call me asking if I would like to walk with them. I text friends that live far away to see if they've tried their new workout dvd's yet.  I trade workout dvd's or plans with my friends all the time.  I am turning into a healthy living machine.  It is a daily part of my life, and I love it.  

Even most of the gifts I received for my birthday last week were healthy living related: class packages for spin classes, a heart rate monitor, cooking classes, new workout pants, and REI gift cards.  People know that this is something that I love and something that I am not going to stop doing anytime soon.  

Recently I had an epiphany, anyone who has known me for longer than six years knows that I've done Weight Watchers once before and I had success.  I feel like I look bad having to come back to Weight Watchers and lose the weight again, like I'm a failure.  But last night it occurred to me  that I didn't have to come back because Weight Watchers didn't work, I had to come back because I didn't work.  I didn't stay on plan back in 2007, but if I did I would probably be a lifetime member right now.  

Weight Watchers only works if you actually stick with it.  I can't just have them automatically deduct the money from my account each month and expect the scale numbers to start dropping.  I can't pay the gym every year and wonder why I don't have a 6-pack.  I can't stock my fridge with healthy food, then go out to eat every night, and tell everyone that my healthy lifestyle isn't working.  

"A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work."

Colin Powell