i'm talkin' to myself over here

A few weeks back, the meeting topic was positive self talk  I think my leader, Scott, had it right when he said "I am never going to look down at the scale, see that I've gained weight, and tell myself that it's a good thing."  

Boy, ain't that the truth.  

So the meeting started to shift it's direction at that point, and it went from a bit of a tense subject (what I really think when the scale goes up) to a great big happy celebration.  

One member had gained weight that week, but she didn't care because she had one hell of a non scale victory: Early in the week, she had gone to see her doctor and had an amazing report.  No more high blood pressure.  No more high cholesterol.  No more medications.  

Now, I'm not an emotional person like my mother, however I definitely got teary eyed at this accomplishment.  

Then the conversation shifted even more with the question, "What do you tell yourself when you aren't happy with the scale, the way you feel, your appearance, etc?"  The truth is, I start to slip and slide at that moment and I eat anything and everything in my path.  I don't have a sweet tooth, but I start cruising for cookies and candy.  I may have just eaten lunch, but I want something more.  

Then I spiral out of control and wake up the next morning with a stomach ache and one heck of a guilt cloud over my head.  

But one of our members said something absolutely brilliant (and so logical that I'm embarrassed I've never thought of it myself!).  She said that if a friend had come to us and was at a really bad place with their weight loss journey, we would encourage that friend and tell her to stick with it while keeping up the hard work.  One bad day, one bad week, or even one bad month is trivial because this is going to be a long process, and in the grand scheme of things, a few mistakes won't kill us.  She also pointed out that none of us would ever look our upset friend in the eye and simply say, "Well, that's it.  Throw in the towel.  You're never going to be able to do this."  

Lightbulb.  

I would never tell my friend to give up on herself, so why do I let myself do the same thing?  

Why do I have one bad meal and let it slide into a horrific day of binge eating and skip tracking?  

Why do I have two bad days and quit tracking for the rest of the week?  

Why do feel absolutely horrible for having to miss a work out?  

Why do I skip tracking something bad that I ate when I'm the only one that ever sees my tracker?  

Why does it seem like I don't love myself enough to be honest with myself and admit my mistakes?  

As you see, the list could go on and on.  I'll stop there.  But I'll leave you with this photo that proves that some weeks, the number on the scale doesn't mean much.